Suffer Well or Suffer Pointlessly
Not All Pain Is Worth Enduring
Suffering is not optional; difficulty is embedded into existence. That is what I took from reading Schopenhauer recently. He never romanticized hardship or pain but saw them simply as truths of life. He even goes further, implying that suffering is constant, and since it is inevitable, choosing purposeful suffering is wiser than succumbing to meaningless suffering.
Here are my thoughts about all of this.
Purposeful suffering translates to discipline, mastery, growth, and challenge. Meaningless suffering, on the other hand, is often rooted in fear, avoidance, indulgence, and stagnation. Some argue that suffering is what makes us human. It takes on different masks and forms, varying from person to person. For some, it is necessary; for others, it is the enemy.
Here is where people get it wrong, and I am guilty of this too. Many of us use suffering as a crutch to validate our position in life. It is a dangerous way to think. A lot of people believe that as long as they are suffering, something worthwhile or sublime must be happening. I am sorry, but self‑imposed pain and aimless suffering are not the same as purposeful and meaningful endeavors.
Drug abuse, for instance, is a form of suffering, but there is no virtue in it.
Inflicting harm on our own bodies is a form of suffering, but is it necessary?
Running away from our problems and duties is painful and another form of suffering, but what good does it do?
Clinging to relationships that drain us is a form of suffering, but what does it preserve?
Overworking for a company that is not aligned with our goals is misery and torture incarnate, but will this kind of suffering ever be fruitful? Probably not.
Yes, suffering can transform us into powerful human beings, but if your suffering looks like this, then you are getting it all wrong. Self‑inflicted suffering is not noble, so why do it? Not achieving what we are capable of is also a form of suffering. Why waste time on that? Why not suffer for the right things?
If we are destined to suffer, we might as well channel it into something meaningful.
You want to be a writer. Are you willing to write when no one is reading? Are you ready to endure unfair criticism from people who do not even know you? To bomb your first few articles?
A championship physique. Are you willing to hold back on your favorite dishes? To outwork your competition? To miss social gatherings and train while everyone else is partying?
You want to get out of poverty. Have you done what you are supposed to do? Are you willing to suffer for it, to work extra hours, to accept things humbly, to learn discipline, to stop spending beyond your budget?
If yes, then suffering for it will take you where you are supposed to be. It is not a bargain or a deal. It is a fair exchange. To become great at something, you must be willing to suffer and work for it. Doing hard things is a form of overcoming yourself, melting away weaknesses, and revealing the scars that will become your strengths.
Sometimes the only choice we have is how to suffer, and that choice determines the results we achieve.
Here we have a man suffering from poverty. He knows his life is not in an optimal state to start a family, buy a car, or eat lavishly. He complains about already having a hard life, limiting his willingness to work harder. He stopped finding better opportunities, and declines overtime work, preventing himself from earning more.
And here we have another man living in the same suboptimal conditions, experiencing the same hardships. But he knows that to escape his situation, he must face even more suffering. He works harder and accepts overtime, sleeps less to work his second job, and eats less to save money.
Who do you think has a better chance of escaping poverty? People do not suffer because life is unfair. They suffer because they avoid the suffering that would free them.
We also have a wealthy man who is set for life, who makes a ton of money, but suffers from a disease caused by obesity and indulgence. He is willing to suffer by spending all his money on the best doctors in the world to return to a nonpathological state.
On the other hand, we have another wealthy man suffering from the same disease, but he chooses to suffer differently. He limits the food he eats, cuts his free time, lifts weights, sweats, and endures the pain in his muscles.
Who do you think will have a better prognosis? Same conditions, different responses.
We will suffer anyway, so we might as well direct it toward the right kind of suffering.
Sometimes, we do not get to choose whether we suffer. The only choice is how we suffer, meaningfully or meaninglessly.
I have written about the good and the bad that come with suffering. Check it out and see for yourself. Read Here